So I haven't blogged in oh, about 3 months. This is 90% due to the fact that about 3 months ago we started this adoption journey and every time I thought about blogging, all I wanted to do was shout from the rooftops that we had decided to adopt our son Benjamin. Since my husband asked me to wait I wrote about nothing. I kind of felt like the phrase "if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all"...except for me it was "if you can't keep you and your husbands secret, then don't write about anything". They are sort of the same things right? No...so I just took pictures of everything and set them aside for many a blog later.
So, here we are and I can finally talk about it. I realize that adoption is not something that many people are familiar with. Everyone has someone they know who adopted, but not many people have been in the trenches with a couple as they ventured through this journey. Reid and I have always hoped to be very transparent with people about our journey of adoption. We have gotten many questions and I realize many may be wondering the same things.
What age will the child be? We will be getting an infant. This is very different from Mason whom we brought home at 11 months old.
Where will the child be from? Our son will be from Oklahoma. This will be a domestic adoption.
Why did you choose a domestic adoption? We found out that Oklahoma had a large need for placement of children. A woman at church actually was talking with me about the need and I tried to ignore it. After 2 weeks of a nagging feeling I told Reid about the information and he told me that for 2 weeks he has been thinking about adopting a son domestically. We had ruled it out before, but of course we can not change God's plans for our life. So we started researching and decided to adopt our son here in Oklahoma.
So when will you get a kid, what is the process? We are enrolled with Catholic Charities in Oklahoma. Apparently we are high on the list due to when we got our application in and our search criteria. However we are waiting for our file to be matched with a potential family. Once we are matched we will then do our home study and meetings. Then we will get a call that the child is being born and meet our little guy. We will not bring him home immediately, but wait a few days until the child is officially an orphan. Then we will drive and pick up our baby. We don't know when we will get the call, but will most definitely be posting for prayers as soon as we do.
How did you choose the name? So, we had already named our 3 kids before we even got Mason back to the USA. I honestly chose kids names based on the kids I have interactions with as a teacher/director. There are many names that are completely off limits. Our sons name will be Benjamin Levi. I couldn't figure out a name, until my sister Tracy and I were eating lunch one day. Our waiter was named Benjamin and I told Tracy that I really liked that name. I don't think we had any Ben's at our school ever that I could think of. We have had some Ben's on our life growing up and they were always such good kids. So awesome Benjamin it was. But a middle name escaped me. Reid and I started re-watching Chuck, with Zachary Levi and "ding" the name fell together. We LOVE Zachary Levi, like Reid will watch Tangled because Zachary Levi voiced the hero. And Levi flows so well with Benjamin. So, sorry Ben, your name does not have a cool background or historical and family meaning. It just sounded awesome and you deserve an awesome name because you are going to be AMAZING.
What will Ben's nationality be? We signed up for all nationalities. Black, Caucasian, Asian...we honestly don't care. The only thing we know is that he will not be American Indian unless the child has under a certain percentage of heritage. We want to give a home to a child who does not have a home.
Is this an open or closed adoption? We chose to have a closed adoption. This is partially due to the fact that we will be moving with the military. Maybe it is the unknown of the situation. Would the family want a say in our decisions. Would they be ok with our moving? And what do we tell Mason about why he doesn't get to have contact with his family, but Ben does. We just couldn't get over the feeling that honestly, we didn't know if we could handle an open adoption, so it was better for us to be honest with the organization and ask for a Closed adoption. We will most likely meet Ben's birth mom and send her pictures through our company and even help Ben find her one day if he so wishes to meet her.
I thought you were adopting a little girl, Kairi? Yes, we are still adopting Kairi, but every time we turned around or talked to a company about adopting our daughter, nothing felt right. We could cut corners to get things done and get our daughter, but realized that wasn't God's plan. We fell in love with China at a young age and their people and always wanted to adopt from there. We got a chance while in China to spend many days with the missionaries 2 adopted children. I had never seen Reid melt more with kids prior to Mason. So we want to start the process for Kairi as soon as Benjamin is placed in our home. China's process takes a few years minimum, so Ben will probably be at least Mason's current age when we bring our baby girl home as well.
How much does an adoption cost? This is one of those subjects that no one wants to talk about. OH NO, not money...it makes me uncomfortable. Not much makes me uncomfortable, so here we go. The adoption for Mason cost around $40,000 with all the travel and everything. We have just recently paid that off after savings and fundraisers and loans and getting tax refunds...and lots and lots of credit card payments. Ben's adoption is going to be $15,000. We have saved around $6,000 over the last year, which I think is pretty awesome considering we are a single income family now. We will keep saving and fundraising, like our awesome missions shirts: Adoption Shirts. In adult and kids sizes...WHAT? I know...it is awesome and you can have one.
So what now? We wait, somewhat patiently...as patiently as a mama bear can while she waits for her little cub to come into the safety of her arms, her home, and her life. Mason has been practicing like a boss to other little kids. He is so precious to me the way he cares for little kids is amazing and melts my heart. He asked me for a little brother for so long and now he will have one. He even goes into his nursery and plays with our pretend "Ben" baby doll by putting him in the Bumbo or play mat and eventually puts him back to bed when he leaves the nursery. And Reid is excited, but let's be honest has pilot school to keep him plenty occupied while we wait. And now we wait.
Next post will be Ben's nursery hopefully and the transformation that was made.
